I value all the times I have off of work and get to sleep in without having the pressure to get up and do a million things during the day. What I don't value is getting woken up on those precious days off by builders where I can no longer sleep in peaceful albeit ignorant slumber not thinking about how much work I have to do. I do not value having to get up and then feeling instantly guilty that I did no work yesterday and therefore have to make up for it now.
The problem with me is that I don't mind revising, I don't mind evaluating and I don't mind trying my hardest to achieve all I can but I HATE doing coursework. I spend all the time researching, thinking hard about how I am going to formulate my essay and then submit it with no further ways I can improve it only to get it back and it be rubbish...
It really does discourage me so much and I hope that these essays are at least a little bit of what they want so I don't completely fail like all the other times. It just makes me feel stupid. It makes me feel like I shouldn't be doing a postgrad course and even more, if I can't even get a good mark in my essay, why should I be a teacher?
It's silly, I know and half the thing about teaching is that you don't need to get a good mark in an essay but it does make me feel like I'm not good enough. But instead of giving up, I'm going to finish writing this blog and then try my hardest to make my essays better and put everything into it that I can because if I don't, I know I'll have regrets about not working hard enough.
Thank you for reading my rant, I'll be on my way now...
TA'RAAA
xxx
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