Let's be honest with each other now shall we? We're all adults here in a safe and secure environment where we shall agree to not socially, societally judge anyone negatively for what they may or may not disclose... I am talking about New Year's Eve when you get so drunk that you start the new year with a banging headache, a sick stomach and a weight of regret hanging over your head. We've all been there and if you haven't, you will. But I thought, as a loyal and very caring citizen of the world, I would provide 10 warning signs to try and avoid the sinking feeling in the morning. These signs will tell you exactly when you need to put that Sambuca shot down and step away from the bar. It should also encourage you to skip all the way home while you still have your shoes safely on your feet...
1. You see two of things you look at.
now this usually happens to me when I'm looking at my phone. My fingers can't quite touch the right keys because there are too many of the keys spinning around my head. This is the moment when you know you're tipsy but you keep denying to yourself that you're not drunk at all because you're having too much fun. First, the denial does not help in fact the more people say to you that you're drunk, the more you want to prove them wrong. I've done this countless times and ended up worse for wear because some idiot has told me I'm drunk. "I'm not drunk, I'm just happy, is that a problem?" Yep, I've shamelessly used that line! And second, if you stop drinking now, the chances are you'll continue having fun and you'll still remember that fun in the morning rather than tarnishing it with your head down the toilet for the majority of the night and morning!
2. You are swaying to the music rather than dancing.
By the time you have drunk so much that you need to stop, the music all merges into one kind of thump in your head where you can't even hear the beat of the music. It means that hell will freeze over before you can find a rhythm to properly dance to but you continue to sway in time to the thumping just to show that you aren't away with the fairies with how blind-drunk you are, even though, you really are!
3. You look at yourself in the mirror and start laughing or talking to yourself.
This sounds like one of those things that you would look out for if you were going crazy but trust me, when you're drunk even the last part of you that is sober can't help but laugh at how much of a state you are. It's the ultimate sign of saying that you have to stop. If you're wise, you'll stop. If you're an idiot like I am most of the time, you continue drinking til you fall over.
4. You're ordering drinks but are convinced the bartender is just giving you coke or water.
It gets to a point in the night when even your taste buds give up and want to go home. They no longer taste how strong those drinks are and instead just let you throw it down your mouth. The not remembering if you have drunk your drink or not is another warning sign along with this one that you are too drunk and should stop drinking. Also, the chances are your drinks get stronger as the night goes on. You can't taste the single vodka shot in your mixer drink? Have a double the next time!
5. You start singing loudly to the song you tell everyone that you hate.
It's the song that your brain is most likely to take notice of when you're drunk and the song you'll be singing the loudest all night. Everything about your body is basically telling you to give up hope on life by going against every hate in your body. It's a good sign when you realise you're singing a song you hate because that is the best time to realise you're too drunk and to stop drinking. If you don't realise, you're pretty much gone for the night.
6. You make plans. For everything.
You talk to people about plans that 1) don't make sense, 2) you will never stick to or 3) are about something you have no clue about, i.e. becoming the next prime minister with your grand plans about what to do with the political downfall England is currently experiencing. It's even worse when these plans are completely outrageous but they are with someone you don't like or worse you don't even know! Unlike just-before-you-fall-asleep brilliant plans, drunk plans are never ever genius ideas.
7. You find an injury that you didn't know happened.
I have had this happen to me in my first year of uni and found a rather large cut on my back that I didn't feel and had no idea how it happened. It told me exactly how drunk I was by how much I had numbed myself from the pain. Local anaesthetic? This is really dangerous and I know looking back now that I laughed about it but it should have opened my eyes to how drunk I really was.
8. You're buying rounds... All the time.
When you start carelessly throwing your money around at the bar buying all of your "best friends" their drinks in hopes that they will buy you yours next time, you know you need to go home and stop drinking. Nobody in their right mind, unless you're rich, is happy to spend their money buying rounds of drinks for their friends. It's a sign that you have no sense of what money means or how expensive drinks are that you really need to stop drinking because you, sir, are too drunk!
9. You think the best idea is to text that one person.
Whether this is the your ex, the person you are secretly in love with, your mum or your worst enemy; the second you start pulling that phone out with your great idea to give them a piece of your mind; you know you're too drunk. You should not be operating your phone and especially if you got your password wrong the 5 times that you have to wait 30 seconds to try again. It will only give you the creeps in the morning when you look over it and think what have I done?
And the biggest warning sign of them all-
10. You are willing to do things that you would normally say no to.
This applies to a lot of things including jumping off silly things, running in the road, walking home in minus temperatures, completing dares to get with the opposite sex and even causing a fight with a random person. But this also applies to finding food. You know that massive craving of food you get when you are drunk and there is no places around that sells any... When you're drunk, distance and time means nothing to you; nor does the weather or any smart, rational thoughts. You will travel the 20 minutes in your high heels whilst it is -5 outside to get your McDonalds burger.
Drunk people are stupid.
Now I am NOT advocating getting drunk, I just wanted to give you some tips on when to stop drinking if you are over the age limit, an adult and have made the choice to drink the new year in. Be aware, and stay safe when you're drinking. Stop before you get too drunk and before you get to any of these warning signs!
I love you all, have a fantabulous New Year's Eve, celebrate 2013 and be happy. I shall see you in 2014
xxx
