I have a situation that is currently making me feel like I'm not worth anything and making me so lonely...
Friends are the basis of a happy life, they're up there with family and they're essential for us to navigate this world successfully and happily. Most of the times, friendship is plain sailing. Sometimes, we come across small storms on the otherwise peaceful journey but we get by them with little or no hitches. But once in a while, when you're least expecting it, there's a huge iceberg that is put in the way of your little friendship and you have the real possibility that this time, you might just sink.
I never argue with my friends. I just don't. I don't know whether that's because we never have anything to argue about, or I ignore the situations but I don't argue. We have silly, little annoyances from time to time but they never last longer than a day. So,when everything happened with my Grandad dying and my Aunt being really sick in hospital, I knew that my friends would just be there for me. And they were, 2 people in particular that I know I wouldn't have got through without them being there.
But then I come to my friend that wasn't there; the one person I thought was going to be from Day 1 without me even having to ask... Guess what?
She wasn't and she hasn't been since.
I came back to uni disappointed with this friend and knew that perhaps distance is a hard thing to overcome when trying to make a person feel better (especially over someone dying), so I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. But the fact is, distance wasn't the problem; a sheer lack of caring was. And you know what? It breaks my heart all over again to know that she just really doesn't care at all about me/what I'm going through/what I'm feeling.
It was hard enough to have to come back to uni as it is, without knowing that she wasn't going to be there to support me and help me through this hard time. It's meant that I've had to be even stronger trying to get through the days without my family.
It was hard enough to have to come back to uni as it is, without knowing that she wasn't going to be there to support me and help me through this hard time. It's meant that I've had to be even stronger trying to get through the days without my family.
Not only did I lose a Grandad this past month but it seems that I've lost my best friend too. I needed and still do need her for the days I come home from uni crying my eyes out because I'm that sad; and she's just not there...
It's a sad story and now? I can't even be bothered to try and be a friend when I need her the most and she doesn't even ask me if I'm okay or how I'm coping with being away from family after losing one of the most important people in my life.
The other day, Harry (my other housemate) showed me this and I think it sums up what's happened to the 3 of us very well. Who needs a best friend when you have a new, amazing boyfriend? I get the inital flush of lust, but is it really worth losing a friend over? I don't get it.
I'm so upset with everything, especially my Grandad and she can't even see past her own happiness.
How is life fair?
Welcome to Nicoleville, where at the moment- tears are shed far more than smiles. Anyone else wanna volunteer as my best friend? I have a vacancy going...
Lots of love to you,
Do me a favour please and tell your best friend that you love them and are always there for them whenever they need you, it's important. I wish my best friend would...
Nicole
xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment