It's Hard

Okay, so this is a blog that I wasn't ever going to create. It's another one of my painfully truthful ones that I know can either receive great welcome or create great controversy. As a disclaimer, I don't want anyone to take this and be mad. I am just being truthful in things that I have direct experience with. Family is everything to me as you know and I wouldn't change my life for anything in the entire world or beyond. I feel incredibly blessed to have had such a loving and supportive family during my life and it pains me to think of others that wasn't as lucky as I was in the past. I truly believe that those that had a hard upbringing can turn their life around and create such a positivity that surrounds them that their bad memories will all but be a distant, faded scar. You have to be the change in your life that you want to see.

As always, I've gone off topic but for anyone who is a carer or lives as a part-time carer, I know that these words that I am going to utter will make complete sense to you. For those that have not cared for someone or has never had to experience life with someone who is disabled or dependent on someone else, this blog is going to come across as potentially rude and you won't relate. I want you to give me a chance when I say that life is hard when you're a carer. 

Life is hard when you have to constantly think about or put someone else before you. It's hard and when people say that a disabled person in your life is a gift, I disagree. Now, I know what people are going to do, they will jump to conclusions about what I've just said and think that I'ma  horrible person. But as I said, it's not a gift, it is a blessing to have them touch your heart, but if you really think about it; is it a gift? A gift is something that you desire, something that you would want. I would not want anyone to have a disability if I had a choice. For that person, the benefits do not outweigh the negatives. It is not a life that I would wish on anyone. Not because I'm a horrible person, but because I've seen those with disabilities struggle and hurt in more pain that I can imagine and I wouldn't want that for anyone in this world.

It's hard to have someone dependent on you. And I'm not even a sole carer of a family member, but if I were to label it, I would say that I am a part-time carer. I don't care for said person everyday and this is why I kind of wanted to address this. It's hard, so hard to figure out your own emotional troubles whilst trying to support someone's physical and emotional difficulties. If you think about a simple decision to go out; if you don't have to think about whether you can, you won't understand. But if you have a dependent, such as a child, and know that you have to make plans for who will look after them whilst you're out and the sorts of things you'll need i.e. medication, food, a routine...

I've seen my family go through hell trying to figure out a way for us to all become a carer in some sort of way- for us to accept the responsibilities and adapt our lives. When you care for someone else, your life is not your own. Your life is no longer just about you. If you're having a bad day, you have to put that aside for the person you are caring for and it is frustrating. It's frustrating to have to neglect your own needs. But it is also rewarding. It's rewarding when you see a smile or a laugh.

It's like everything, you have to take the good with the bad. I just think that people don't always understand how hard it is or how much your life changes. You don't just slot that person into your old life, you change your life and who you are for that person. You change so that the person you are caring for can have their life constant. You adapt for them. And that's hard.

Does this makes sense?

I appreciate and I am so admirable of everyone that cares full-time. I do it once a week, and I need a break. There isn't enough respect or publicity to highlight the true heroes in life. And I honestly think that all carers are our unsung heroes. They give up their life for someone else. Isn't that what a hero is? Next time to look at someone pushing a wheelchair, think of how much they've had to give up. Be inspired by them for they are such selfless humans, some of the purest examples of morality.

I salute you all who care for someone. I take my hat off to you and wish you all the happiness in the world. Think of yourself too and take the time to put you first for once.

Too deep for Sunday Bumday? To lighten the mood of this blog, here's a picture of me on Friday night.

xxx