First Day Nerves...

...were unnecessary... 

I think that I always make a mountain out of a molehill and I know I definitely did this for yesterday. I had already spent two weeks with the school, teacher and class beforehand so I don't know why I felt so scared to go back but I guess I thought that perhaps they wouldn't be as welcoming. But I was wrong and a number of the staff commented on how good it was to have me back and I settled right back into the easygoing nature of the school. I know that my nerves of the first day were misplaced and I didn't need to be but I also know that I should still feel a little nervous about my placement.

It's only the first day in and although these first two weeks are technically prep weeks, I still feel a little pressured to do lots of class work. Yesterday, I did a guided reading group and also helped direct the play that the year 5s are doing to the parents on Monday as well as attending a staff meeting. I know that is a fabulous thing to put in for my evidence of wider responsibilities but I'm a little eager to get in front of the class, take a small lesson and see how well I do. I don't think my nerves will be put to rest until I have done this.

I also feel nervous about my essays that are due in during the placement worrying that I won't have time to teach, do all the paperwork for placement and write my essays. I'm a big ball of worries but I know that once I get going with it all and get into the zone of working when I can and completing everything I have to do, I will feel a lot happier and will get into a good flow.

It's the very start of a 10 week placement which will make or break my teaching career. Scary.

We'll see how I go and I know that whatever happens, if you keep reading, you'll be coming along with me and hopefully supporting me, which will make me feel a lot better. Just knowing that I always have someone to listen to me rant makes me feel better even if you might not want to listen. 

I find it hard to rationalise my thoughts and fears on my own so being able to have you guys to write to on a daily basis helps me immensely. And I'm so glad that I'm back to writing my blogs regularly because I missed you guys and I'm probably going to need you all more than ever just to keep me sane. I managed to blog everyday when I was on placement last time so I should be able to maintain it now. Even if that does mean I have to prewrite my blogs and schedule them in the week.

Cheeky!

Hope you're all having a brilliant Tuesday and are not too cold.

Love you all,

Nicole

xxx