Night Confessional

So... let me tell you a little secret- my last 2 blogs have been pre-written so right now I am talking to you real time. 9PMish on a Tuesday night. I needed some time to figure out my head. In the previous blogs I alluded to something bad that happened in my life and although I don't wanna get into too many details, I do wanna try and convince myself to change my mindset.
Since I can remember, it feels like something big and 'bad' has happened every year and I hate it. I hate that the bad stuff is what I remember. Silly me made a little plead on the 2nd January (2016) to whoever governs this world to make this year trauma free- unfortunately that day saw my Nan pass away... Now for the past two days I have thought nothing but negative thoughts about this year. It already seems to have gotten off on one of the worst feet but I want to change that.
Losing my last living grandparent bloody sucks, real hard (as an underestimation) but I know that none of them would want me to condemn the entire year over it. I know that if I think of it as going to be a bad year, it probably will be a bad year.
Now I don't aim to instantly see anything as good right now but when I've had time, I hope that I can give this year a second chance.
That's all, people. FYI, I prewrote the rest of the blogs for this week because I can't face blogging real time right now!
Love to you all!