The Best of 2012

It is the last day of 2012 and at these milestones of life, I always look back on the last year and think about (or try to remember) everything that happened in the year. Granted, there are things that have happened that have made me sad but we can't dwell on those things. I have taken it upon myself today, and for this blog to look back on this year and think about the best things that have happened to me in 2012...

1. I achieved a 2:1 average for my second year at Uni propelling me into third year with a strong basis for achieving a 2:1 overall

2. I saw my family slowly get back together, and get back to normal after the tragic loss of my Nan. There's nothing more heart-warming that coming home to a family that once was, but was lost for months. It showed to me how important family is.

3. I got back my love of writing, both novels and blogs. I lose my hobby from time to time; my inspiration goes from high to low. But I hope my love of writing can continue into the new year and beyond.

4. Watching Team GB do absolutely amazing at the Olympics 2012.

5. My holiday to Egypt was one that I loved and was much needed. I think I want to live somewhere hot, and close to the beach- nothing is more attractive than a sun-tanned beauty lounging on a sunbed being lavished by the glow of the sun (not that I fit that criteria; but I can dream that I can.)

6. I spent a week on work experience and it sparked my love of children further; watching them singing in assembly and knowng that one day I will play a part in sculpturing the next generation.

The best friends I girl could ever ask for :)

7. I got an interview and a conditional place at Kingston Uni to become a primary school teacher. I can't believe I managed it

8. The continued close bond that my friends have maintained despite the fact we all live miles apart from each other. They mean the world to me and I feel so lucky and blessed to have such wonderful friends :)

There's not a better exercise to put you in the happiest mood ever than this one. My list is not exhaustive but all that I can think of at the moment giving the great pain I am currently in thanks to the earache I have. I am telling you now to write yourself a list of everything in 2012 that made you happy and were the best moments because you'll be surprised at what you come up with. We're all so lucky to have everything that we do, and don't forget that.

Make 2013 better than any other year you've ever had and you'll continue to spread happiness throughout everyone in your life. Bring a smile to the faces of those around you today.

Love you all, and I appreciate and am surprised by every read that I get from these blogs. They aren't amazing but I love doing them and I hope they make you a little happy too.

I hope you all have a wonderful yet safe New Year's Eve. The next time you see me, it'll be 2013.

Happy New Year. Let's all make 2013 much better than 2012 where we can all achieve our dreams :)

xxx

The Must Have Plan for New Year's Eve

It's the penultimate day of 2012, and in my time, I've had plenty of drunken New Year's Eves where I can't remember half the night, or end up making a right royal tit of myself. So, in aid of being a good person, and wanting to help more amateur New Year's Eve drinkers start 2013 in a way that they don't end up living to regret, I have compiled a fool-proof list of things to do in order to make sure you have a wonderful, yet drunken start to the new year rather than a regretful, puking up start. Let's start 2013 as we mean to go on...

1. Get plenty of sleep the night before. This is essential for you to stay awake past 12AM to actually see the new year in.

2. Eat. Eat. Eat. I know it may give you a bloated belly, but you need to have hearty, stodgy food in order for you to not get too wasted, end up puking up over yourself and wishing that it was 2012 again the next day.

3. Shower, and get ready early, BEFORE you start drinking. You may think that you are a pro at make-up, but once you have a drink or two down you, your steady hand will no longer be your best friend. Unless you want to go out looking like the joker, I advise you to stay sober enough to get your pretty on.

4. Pre-drink. I don't care how rich, or how civilised you are, all students do this because it works. The best part of a night is generally the time you are in control and can remember what you're doing. Drink at home before you go out because it'll save you money to wherever you are going. It also gives you an alcohol jacket to allow yourself to not have to bring that big, annoying coat to keep yourself warm with.

5. Select the right shoes. The sparkly, new high heels may look great with your new, carefully chosen outfit, but the blisters on your feet at the end of the night do not spell out attractiveness. If you must, take a pair of flats to get home in; there's no shame in having hurting feet- girls, we all get them.

6. Have fun. It's the end of the year, so who cares if you get a little too drunk, slur your words and dance like a complete prat? You're celebrating after all, so celebrate. Have some drinks, dance and laugh.

7. Always, always, ALWAYS stay safe. No matter how drunk you are, you need to make sure you stay safe. Create a plan for getting home BEFORE you start drinking and go out. We don't want to start 2013 in a gutter having had something horrible, unimaginable happen to you. There's fun, and then there's stupidity. Let's stick to fun...
8. Eat something and drink water before you go to bed. My go to food after a night out is toast, something that will give me some substance over night to prevent some of the horrific hangover the next morning. I highly recommend you to do the same.

No matter what you are doing tomorrow night, whether you're going out drinking with friends or family, or staying in and welcoming the new year in with a clear head and a clear conscious, know that the new year holds endless possibilities for you to do and be whatever you want...

Love to you all, I hope I have been some help to everyone, and you take my tips and implement them into your last day of 2012..
xxx

Good Reasons for being Sick

I've been laid on the sofa now for two days, with the inability to get up and do normal things. As I have   been doing this, I have been thinking about taking such a crappy situation and trying to make myself feel better and therefore, I present to you all the good reasons for being sick:

1. You have a legitimate reason to be lazy and sleep all day and nobody bats an eyelash.

2. Your tastebuds or stomach never wants you to eat food. This is good if you are seeking to lose any extra pounds; just make sure after you've gotten better, you don't overindulge and pile them all back on.

3. People always worry about you, and want to do things to make you feel better.

4. People are sympathetic, especially if you look like hell.

5. When you do want something; there is at least one person who will feel sorry for you enough to get you it...

6. When trying to open a medicine bottle with childlock, you don't look weak because you can't open it; you're just ill (the fact you can't open it on a normal day is irrelevant)

7. If you work, or it's term time- you don't have to go to work/school.

Well, that's all I can come up with for now. But I think I have presented a compelling argument that being sick is not all that bad if we look on the bright side of life...

2 more blogs to go, I'm excited.

Can you think of anymore good reasons for being sick? Let me know, I want to see the bright side of this situation :)

Lots of love,
Nicole

Melodramatic and Exaggerating

Most of the time, I am melodramatic and exaggerate greatly, but on this occasion; I did not.

Last night, I woke up at 2:30AM, and had to rush to the toilet to be sick, multiple times. The worst thing about being sick is how bad it makes you feel after; especially when it's the dead of the night and you're alone. I made it back to bed and kept waking up during the night being too cold, then being too hot, then too cold etc.

After, I went downstairs in the morning; every step felt like my head was going to explode with how much it hurt. I had to stop and grab hold of my head almost crying with the pain. I took some medicine, and my cat joined me on the sofa with my blanket as if he knew I wasn't well and wanted to comfort me. I love cat cuddles when I'm sick.

I've just woken up, and I feel miles better. My head still hurts and I don't feel right but it's nothing like how I felt this morning.

I really hope this is just a 24 hour bug, and not something that will take ages to get rid of. The plan was to do some revision today, but I do NOT feel like working at all today.

Maybe tomorrow?

Post Christmas Sadness

I have a banging headache, and I didn't even drink anything yesterday that qualifies me to be in so much pain...

AFTERNOON!

So, all the festivities of Christmas is finally over for another year. When I think about how much time, money and stress that goes into two measly days, I honestly think we're all stark raving mad and crazy. Name me another occasion when this happens for 2 days...

Exactly.

Anyway, I hope you all got lovely presents and haven't already forgotten about them. I am trying hard to not eat anything today to counteract the thousands of calories extra I consumed over the last 2 days. They don't give you New Year's Resolutions for nothing in the new year. I have decided that I'm not making resolutions for 2013, but rather just try and be the best Nicole I can be all year round.

I don't want to have to set myself up for failure and then feel bad about myself. For example: losing weight or not biting my nails. Although they are good resolutions, they are going to be sometimes during that year that you will fail and if you have set it as your "New Year's Resolution" then you're going to give up, unless you're really strong and resilient. Just do it for you, not because it's a new year..

Later tonight, I'm off to my sister's house to celebrate her 25th birthday. It's weird to think about how old we're all getting. Before we know it, we're going to be 60 odd and in my case probably forgetting who the hell I am...

Don't you all go missing Christmas too much. And don't worry, you only have 4 more days of these rambling, crap blogs before I got back to sporadic, yet equally rambling blogs :P

LOVE YOU! xxx

Boxing Day

If I thought that I would be able to eat less and healthier after Christmas to lose some of the pounds I have put on yesterday, I had another thing coming due to the tradition we have always had in our family of Boxing Day. Not only do we have a massive turkey roast dinner on Christmas Day (traditionally cooked by my Nan at hers, but now cooked by my Uncle), we also have a massive turkey roast dinner on Boxing Day (cooked by my Mum at ours.) This means that I am going to be stuffing my face once again with another full, big roast, and then nibbles afterwards whilst vegging out on the sofa with the inability to move; not that I would really want to move anyway.

The only good thing about the Boxing Day dinner is that I get to be at home and so there is no moving required, plus there are more sofas available for sitting on rather than the uncomfortable floor. My Grandad only has a 2 seater sofa free and with the 8 of us, plus partners; the fight for the comfy chairs is huge after dinner is finished.

Other people go and tackle the sales on Boxing Day, whilst others declare not to eat for a week, but here in the Ryan household; we choose to eat more. We're not piggies at all!

Although there is a lot of food consumed in the two days of Christmas, I enjoy being able to spend the days with my family. There's nothing more special about a Christmas than having all your family around you, laughing and joking. I know some people out there have to spend their Christmas alone, without presents or food and at these times I count all my lucky stars for how blessed I am to be able to have everyone around me this holiday.

Thankfully, I didn't get much chocolate at all this year, which will mean I can't continue to pig out after the dinners are done. I did get some lovely Vans, jewellery, a necklace stand, some Nivea body set and lots of money to keep for a rainy day in Cardiff when I'm feeling down and in need of a new dress.

For now, I shall say goodbye to prepare my stomach for the huge task of the next Christmas dinner and hope that you are all having a good time with your family with as little friction and arguments as possible.

LOVE YOU LOTS!!
<3

Merry Christmas Everybody

So, after all the worrying about what presents to buy for who, and the stress of the shops on the busy weekends as well as the chocolate countdown; it has finally arrived. The marked lack of snow and ever present rain isn't even enough to damper my mood.

I went out last night to the pub to celebrate the coming in of Christmas, and ended up getting a little tipsy so that this morning my belly isn't quite happy with me. I know the solution- a big fat Christmas dinner! YUM!

I can't believe how quickly Christmas has come around.

Well, I'm off to go wait for my sisters to come to open presents (they are too old to be living at home which means I have to wait til 12PM even though I've been awake since 9AM... I'm such a kid) Then we're going to my Grandad's as tradition to have Christmas dinner. It's exciting.

The only thing that is missing on this day is my Nan but I know that even though she didn't make it to Christmas 2011 or 2012, she will always be with us in our hearts and minds to celebrate Christmas with us. Remember the lost loved ones, and be happy with knowing that you were blessed to have had them in your life.

Today is about happiness, so only the biggest smiles are allowed on Christmas Day

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

I hope you all have a wonderful day and enjoy the festivities as well as the lovely food and presents.

BYEEEEE! :D

P.s. 25/25 at the moment, only 6 more blogs to go. If I do say so myself, I'm smashing this challenge ;)

The Greatest Gift

On Christmas Eve, let us all take a moment to reflect on what is really important this holiday before the presents are ripped open, the turkey is cooked and the hours spent with family gets too much resulting in arguments of frustration  The essence of Christmas gets forgotten about under the mountains of wrapping paper and brussel sprouts. But we shouldn't forget that Christmas is a celebration- not necessarily of Christ but of the very beauty of life and what we get to have as humans...

Family. Friends. Happiness. Love. Health. And bright futures where we could be anything we ever wish to be if we work hard enough to achieve.

As long as we remember to take a backseat from potential disappointment that what you get wasn't what you wanted, or anger at a family member who might've taken a joke/banter too far and look at how lucky we all are the have people around us who love us to celebrate such a time with. No matter how much you're going through, we must remember that we are lucky to be alive, lucky to have people who love us and lucky to be able to receive gifts.

Remember, this Christmas we will all have been given the greatest and most important gift of all- we will have been given the gift of life.

Make sure the people in your life know how special they are to you. Christmas is about family and love- not just presents and turkey.

I hope you all have a marvellous Christmas Eve and go to sleep early so Father Christmas can deliver your presents if you've been good :)

All my love xxx

Happy Birthday Mum!

Not only is it Christmas Eve eve, but it is also my Mum's birthday. And so the birthdays and festivities are really getting underway for my family. This time of the year is the busiest time for my family given the sheer number of birthdays, the Christmas period as well as the New Year. We always have the most family time these couple of weeks and I love it. Our Christmas period goes something a little like this...

23rd December = Mum's birthday
24th December = Christmas Eve
25th December = Christmas Day
26th December = Boxing Day (we have another big Christmas dinner and the family comes to ours for the day)
27th December = Sister's birthday
31st December = New Year's Eve
1st January = New Year's Day (traditionally, we go to my Grandad's for another big dinner to celebrate the coming of the new year with our family but I'm not sure if we're doing this, this year)
4th January = Sister's birthday
5th January = Sister's birthday
11th January = Sister's birthday

So as you can see, there is an awful lot going on in a short period of time and it's exciting to be able to spend so much time with my family celebrating and having fun. Our lives these past couple of years has been hard and filled with sadness, but when everyone comes together to celebrate something, it brings so much happiness and we get to appreciate how lucky we are to have one another.

I hope my Mum has the best birthday in the world. We aren't a family that regularly tells one another that we love them, and I hope this year; she knows that we love and appreciate everything that she does. She really is a Supermum, and I don't know how she does it. She puts everyone else before herself and I hope that today, she gets put first for once. We all know how lucky we are to have her as a Mum with everything that she does for us all, and we wouldn't be where we are now without her. She's amazing, and we love her loads!

Lots of love!
xxxxx

3 Days To Go!

So, there's only 3 days to go until to Christmas and beside Christmas songs on the radio and a couple of houses partaking in the Christmas cheer with lights and decorations; there are few indicators that the holiday is just round the corner. I'm not sure what I expect to see, just that I know I'm not seeing it at the moment. I guess nowadays, seeing as children are more aware of the fact that Santa is not real and their parents actually buy their presents, that the holiday has been downgraded from when I was younger. Or I've just gotten older and lost the ability to see the magic of the holiday anywhere and everywhere. I guess the lights don't look as spectacular as they would've when I was little. I'm getting old...

The weather is shocking without a single chance of having a white Christmas. I can't remember the last time I saw a white Christmas and a couple of weeks ago, we had a flurry of snow in London and I was convinced that this year, it would happen given the fact it had already started. But slowly but surely, the rain started to creep in, the air started to warm a little and the likelihood of a white Christmas diminished to almost nothing with the forecasts saying that the weather is "wet and windy." I shouldn't expect anything more really given the fact we live in England...

The worst part of all is that it's not just raining, it's making travel almost impossible with flood warnings in every weather report on the news. For me, this isn't a problem, but I know of people that are facing the prospect of not being able to get home and it makes me sad. There are so many people that rely on coaches, trains and cars to get them home for Christmas to be home with their family and then Mother Nature comes along and manages to dash their chances of being home.

Just on the news today, there is a story that warns travellers to not travel in South-West England; the very place where my friend, Tom has to get home from. I have my fingers, toes and legs tightly crossed that he is able to get his train home on Christmas Eve so he can spend the time he can with his family. I really home he can make it!

xxx

It's Getting Serious...

"You better watch out.

You better not cry;

Better not pout.

I'm telling you why,

Santa Claus is coming to town.

He's making a list,

And checking it twice;

Gonna find out who's naughty or nice,

Santa Claus is coming to townnnnn..."

P.s. I'm a little disappointed that after all this hype about the end of the world, we are all still alive without even a single flash of lightning to add an ounce of dramatics in what is just another normal day. *sigh*

Goodbye, My Friend

My heart is broken and I really don't want to write a blog today...

Last night, my beautiful bird passed away and I cried knowing that 1) I'll never see him again and 2) he's no longer suffering. He was so loved by us all, and we' ll never forget him, ever.

He'll always be the bird we found on the doorstep and by chance found us. He sang his little heart away right into the depths of our hearts and there he shall remain forever. We named him Lucky because we thought he was the lucky one surviving the coldness and the cats to find us, but in reality; we became the lucky ones to find him and to have had him as such a loyal companion for years.

RIP Lucky, you will always be in our lives xxx

Christmas Shopping

The Ryan tradition has always been for my Dad, me and a sister or two going out shopping a couple of days before Christmas to try and get all the presents for my Mum in one day. It either turns out really well, or really bad. When we were younger, my Dad was left with the biggest task of deciding by himself. But as we have all gotten older, we have gradually taken over the task of deciding what to get and making sure we get it all in one day. The only thing he has to do is provide the transportation and giving over his card to pay for it all.

In the last couple of years, we have bypassed the local high streets in hope that there might be something amazing to buy, when we know for sure that there won't be anything, to go straight to Bluewater, the shopping centre in Kent.

Today, there was an very serious accident on the M25, J30-31, which impacted on the whole of the M25 which we were on- J2. It meant that the usual 1 hour journey turned into a 3 hour journey with us moving a mile within one hour.

It was suffice to say that our mood plummeted slowly until we were all positively annoyed that we were at a complete standstill. Although I wanted to just get to the shopping centre, my heart went out to the families of the people involved in the multiple vehicle accident and I hoped to God that nobody was seriously hurt.

My mind then turned to all the families who lost their children in the heart-breaking tragedy in America. All the parents who wouldn't be able to spend their Christmas with their precious small children and I couldn't imagine the way they are feeling.

Sometimes, we can't predict what will happen, as unpredictable as a motor crash or as grand, and completely, unthinkable and unimaginable as a massacre. I know that this time of year- Christmas is all about spending precious time with your family and making sure that everyone around you knows that you love them dearly.

Having such tragedies brought to the front of our attention, we remember that life is a delicate balance between living life to the fullest and making sure we don't risk our lives to disrupt the thin line between life and death. If you're lucky enough to have all your family around you, make sure you let them know how much you love them, through words or simply through actions. Nothing is more important, or invaluable as the people that unconditionally love you for the whole of your life.

Going back to my earlier start, we managed to get all the shopping done when we finally got to the shopping centre and hopefully Mum will like everything we bought. But remember, no matter how much money you spend, the greatest gift we can ever give anyone is the gift of love and admiration.

Love to you all, we're all special people and the people around you love you!
xxx

SUCCESS!!

Within a whirlwind week, I received the news that I had been offered an interview at Kingston Uni. And now, I am sitting here, having done my interview yesterday looking at a Conditional offer in my GTTR Track.

I can't believe it.

The whole process has taken approximately 15 days and where my future looked bleak and uncertain, I now have a full-fledged plan of what I'm going to be doing next year and beyond.

I'm going to be a primary school teacher; it's simple. And all I need now is a 2:2 and I can reach my dreams. To me, I find that extraordinary. Although, I am on track to get a 2:1, the pressure has been taken off of me a little (potentially a bad thing) because I can still become everything I want to be even if for some devastating reason I don't manage to maintain my current grade.

I'm over the moon and this is an amazing early Christmas present. I can't believe I already know so fast.

In other news, I'm puppy-sitting again today, whilst trying to teach Molly to go to the toilet on her puppy pad rather than everywhere in the house. Luckily, it's been going well today even if my family are sick of me saying:

"Molly, do wee-wees."

It's like having a child, and it has to be done. I love her so damn much. I'm so glad I got to be home when she was little and am lucky enough to be able to see her so often now that I am home.

Everything seems to be falling into place for me at the moment and I feel incredibly grateful for all the good things that are happening for the end of 2012. This has to be an omen that I'm a good person, and deserve good things to happen.

Although, my beloved birdy isn't too well at the moment and we think he isn't going to last much longer with his old-age. I'm going to miss him so much when he dies and was almost in floods of tears last night realising that he might not be around much longer. It's so sad but I don't want him to be suffering, we all love him and he'll have a better time in birdy Heaven and in our memories.

From a very smiley, yet a little sad, Nicole, to a hopefully very smiley reader, I shall talk to you all tomorrow!

Lots of love xxx

P.s. I'm on track to being awesome! 18/18 blogs completed

Dog Eat Dog World

My very first interview has been and gone.

The interview process has such weird dynamics with everyone trying to be friendly, and talkative yet fully knowing that the rest of the people in the room that is also being interviewed are competition. I still have the mentality of hoping everyone gets a place and being sad thinking that someone I've gotten to know during that process might not achieve their dreams. But as my dad told me on the way home, the older you get, the more you realise that if you don't take your place, the other people wouldn't hesitate to take it from you. As I said, it's a weird, two-faced sort of situation.

As they always say, it's a dog-eat-dog world!

Although I was dead nervous and probably way under prepared  I managed to muddle my way through it and not fail too badly at the interview questions apart from the last one. I wasn't expecting such a direct and such a question that required a big headed answer.

"What are three reasons that we should choose you over other people?"

*blank face, and screaming "shit" in my head*

I like to think that I am fairly modest in how much I've achieved and generally in life with what I achieved. But this question was not designed to whittle out the people that are modest and therefore I faltered a little. Nevertheless, I managed to answer and I hope that I haven't done too badly.

Even if I don't end up securing a place, it's not the end of the world. Sure, I'll probably be quite devastated and scared about what my future will hold but that won't be the end. I'll just get back on the horse and try again and try again until I can achieve my dream.

I'm determined and when you're that determined, nothing can really stand in your way.

The only obstacles that stop you from reaching your dreams are those that you place in your way on the path to obtaining your dream.

For now, my dream is still alive and fingers crossed, it'll only just get closer and closer over time.

Over and out!
Nicole xxx

Sunday Slumber

First, a group picture from the Friday night out. I know you've been waiting for a horrific story of drunkness etc but unfortunately  it wasn't as eventful as I thought it would be. At least, I'm glad there wasn't some horrible, OH MY GOD, moment in the morning with a heap of regret. So, it's not all bad and in fact, people would say it was the desirable outcome.










Now that I'm home, I finally met Molly. She is the cutest, most precious but extremely naughty puppy. Her tiny, little teeth seem like they couldn't hurt a fly but they stab into you loads especially when she hangs on with dear life.

Being home is so lovely. I haven't felt cold at all, in fact, I felt overheated at times. And I just ate a wonderfully home-cooked dinner that was healthy and delicious. I love being at home!!

Tomorrow I have my interview at the Uni, and I'm beyond nervous. I don't know what I'm meant to be saying and I just hope that I am a natural otherwise I'm officially screwed!

My will to write this blog today has been so low and I apologise for the short, boring blog that I have posted today. I'll keep you updated on how my interview goes.

Green dress give me some good luck!!

Xxxx

...

For any of you guys who are planning on travelling home just after midday the day after you've gone out and drank loads... Just don't.

I am regretting my choice of drinks and mixing from the way I feel right now:
Cider
Vodka (Vodka and Coke, Jelly shots)
Port
A little bit of Mulled Wine
A gulp of a dirty pint.

Wish me luck guys! I have a coach to catch in under 5 hours, and I still need to pack, shower, make myself look presentable and make sure I'm well enough to travel.

Yay for end of Semester nights to get slaughtered!

Drink The Bar Dry 2012

Assignments: DONE!
Planning for my interview: In progress!
Last day of Autumn semester 2012, of year 3: DONE!
Pre-drinking: Already starting!!

Now that I am officially free of Uni for this year, I am going to get wasted at Cardiff's annual event to celebrate the end of semesters and also Charlotte's 21st. Last night, I had put up banners and balloons whilst she slept to surprise her in the morning.

Drink The Bar Dry is the name of the event, and you betcha I am going to drink that bar drier than the Sahara desert on the hottest day of the year!

Drinks downed, shapes made (dancing for you old folks), horrific pictures taken and amazing memories made...

Be sure to find a blog tomorrow, or the day after (depending on how hungover I am to write a proper blog considering I'm also travelling home on a coach at 1PM; potentially a very bad idea) that outlines exactly how this went down...

For now, I'll see you at the other end of my hangover.

BYEEEE!

I bruised my bum!

Although I thoroughly enjoyed ice skating yesterday, I have to confess that I did fall on my bum twice during the hour skating. In my defence, I have only ever been ice skating two other times in my entire life and those have been my only falls; I think that's a not so bad average... Right?

So, yesterday, I spent the magical evening at Cardiff Winter Wonderland in the presence of other shaky skaters as well as some annoyingly good skaters enjoying the Christmas music play softly whilst the cold hit us square in the face; not that any of us cared because we were having too much fun getting in the Christmas spirit. I absolutely love the sense of togetherness that holidays bring and how much it just draws us to the people we love. I am waiting on going home so I can be with the people I love the most. I am beyond excited.

Today, though, I have to spend the day making the most of the little time I have preparing for the interview I have on Monday. I am freaking out, and scared and feel massively unprepared. This causes for some quality, class A blagging from Nicole accompanied with an award-winning smile and a lot of crossed fingers... Help?

Enough about my scaredy cat'ness...

Tomorrow, I am going to get drunk and I'm going to love it! That's all that needs to be said.

Two more days and I get to go home :D You honestly can't keep the smile off my face when I recall that fact!

Plus, I'm almost half way on this blogging challenge and I think I am kicking its butt! I am immensely proud of myself that I have kept up blogging everyday- just another 18 more days to go...

LOVE YOU! xxx

12-12-12

So, today is the last recurring date that I believe I will ever see again in my lifetime...

The likelihood that I'm going to still be around, alive and kicking when I'm 109 to see the next which would be (01-01-01 = year 2101) is very low, in fact it seems impossible that I would reach the age of 80; let alone 100.

It got me thinking about how many people who are 100 and older now that have already seen the date 12-12-12 (year 1912) and I think it's crazy. It must be amazing to have lived in a completely different time and culture than the one we live in today; to have seen so much change. To think about how many things those people have seen, and lived through is insane; World Wars, all the cool eras (hippies, rock, disco etc), and in some part watched the Industrial Revolution take hold and come out the other end. The type of history that we learn about in school and feel a million miles away from; some people on this Earth lived through it! It completely enthrals and astounds me to think about it.

In my short 20 years, I have seen the Millennium, Twin Towers collapsing, war in Iraq, first black American president, Olympics 2012 in London; just to name a very few amount of huge things that have taken place since I was born. I can't imagine having a backlog of 100+ years to sift through in terms of memories and grand events.

Time is a beautiful thing, and we need to make sure we treasure it because in a world where money is a commodity, and everything revolves around materialistic things; time is not something we can magic out of thin air; we can't buy it and we certainly can't get it back once it's gone. Weeks, months and years go by in a flash; live each day as much as you can...

On another note; I had the shock of my life yesterday evening when I got informed that I have an interview for Kingston University for the Primary PGCE course that I applied to- yes, I want to be a primary school teacher. It's Monday 17th December at 9AM; which gives me less than a week to prepare and I'm freaking out. There is not enough time allotted for me to stop shaking, and to revise for a Maths and English test, along with gaining confidence for both the group activity and the individual interview whilst trying to prepare to answer questions in my interview. FREAK. OUT. BEGUN!

For now, I am putting the preparation questions aside for it is time to ice skate, baby!! <3

High as a Kite

Although technically, I have already completed the one blog a day required for my challenge today; I feel like writing another one...

I am high as a kite at the moment. 

This very day looked bleak last night with the prospect of me crying hysterically whilst shoving chocolate, sweets and chips in my big, fat mouth to try and console my broken heart. But as it turns out; it's a pretty darn good day.

I woke up feeling crap, and on the freezing walk to uni, I still felt crap but soon after that, I was surrounded by my friends, and ended up being in a fairly good mood. Then as my seminar finished at 2PM, the realisation that I was getting a mark back today made my mood plummet faster than a lead balloon.

BUT...

Surprisingly, I didn't do too badly at all. 

Especially considering I had written this assignment whilst on work experience at a primary school so I literally woke up at 7AM  went to school and practised being a teacher until 4PM then had to come home and work on my assignment for the rest of the night when I was literally too shattered to even keep my eyes open...

I honestly thought I had failed it with the biggest, thickest, boldest red F in the entire history of failures.

I'm happy! :)

I hope you've all had a surprisingly good day today! All my love, and happy cheer,
xxx

Poetic Insomnia

In the dead of the night, when all you see is blackness whilst your mind constantly churns your fears and worries in your mind; you know you're being plagued by insomnia.

The peaceful hum of the silence stretches on infused with the violent, frustrated thrashing of limbs as the battle between consciousness and unconsciousness persists with no victor to possess your mind...

I have an addiction...

I admit it!

I, Nicole Ryan, am addicted to old school games...

After finding that my up-to-date, smart phone allowed me to download an app to play the original, and must I say, the best Snake game from Nokia 3210 (1997) I have been playing it non-stop.

I stayed up way past 1AM last night indulging in one of my childhood's favourite game. And like I always do when I think back to how long ago it was, it begs me to ask the question nowadays whether or not the kids of today have played such a momentous, and influential game that governed my childhood.

With the black and white graphics and oversimplified task, it seems like the most basic, and daresay crappy looking game but I love it. I can't fathom a child of today choosing to play such a game that clearly belonged in the past over such a complex and graphic technological genius such as Angry Birds and the like. And even if kids of today have played Snake, I can't see them finding as much enjoyment from the game as I did when I was younger.

I guess it's all about what you are brought up around. Such a generation one step older than me (my parents) probably can't understand why I didn't spend more time outside in my childhood like they did, and thus I am also reflecting on my childhood and asking the same questions of the generation below me.

It's true when the older generations say that it's just not the same as it used to be. When I was younger, I had a fake kitchen set which I used my imagination in order to create a sense of cooking with fake, plastic food. And yet now, as I look around there are all the toy contraptions to have a working oven that you can make cakes with, popcorn makers and whatnot that blows my mind. Part of this comes from the fact I'm sure those stuff was available when I was younger, but my parents simply couldn't afford it. But part of me is eternally grateful that I didn't have to ruin my imagination and sense of creativity by having everything handed to me on a plate. I used my brain to create wonderful games that brought me such joy and happiness...

With Christmas just around the corner (as I keep alluding to it) I know that a lot of kids are going to get toys that they will play with once and then never touch again; I know I did that too. I feel like the more technological we get, the less our minds will have to work to create scenarios; it will be provided for us.

I wonder what kind of toys will fill the next generations boxes that fit underneath the Christmas tree... Only time will tell...

From very nostalgic Nicole, happy Monday guys!
xxx

P.s. What were your favourite games and toys to play with as a child?

Christmas Day!

Late blog is late!

'Raping' the chicken!

So, unlike the rest of my blogs, this one is a little later than usual; and that's because for our uni house, it was Christmas day today!

We had it all planned so that we could have Christmas dinner and even invited Nour round for the festivities. Most of the afternoon was spent cleaning the living room and kitchen in preparation for the mammoth task of cooking a full roast chicken dinner. We even decorated the living room, with a mini Christmas tree, tinsel, Santa stockings and Charlotte and I wore a Santa hat to celebrate the time of year.

Charlotte and I beside the yummy food!

Hard at work cooking!

Thankfully our cooking skills were above par, and we managed to cook a whole chicken, veg, potatoes, simultaneously preparing an apple crumble and trying to play a game of Articulate (which I won!) Given the fact that my cooking skills only normally extend to cheesy pasta/pasta bake, soup and occasionally fajitas, I'm always proud of myself when I extend my culinary skills. Christmas songs played in the background, whilst the steam slowly but surely heated our normally freezing cold house in order for us to ditch our usual layers of clothing to keep us warm. Our meal was accompanied by the lovely taste of Rekorderlig and infused with the sound of laughter and pain from indulging in the yummiest food I've had in ages.

How good (and huge) does that look?

I had a wonderful evening with some of the best people in my life and I now can't wait for Christmas with my family. Over the past 2 years and a half, my uni friends have become my second family and I am so comfortable with them; almost as much as my actual family. They have made my whole uni experience one that I will never forget, and at this time of year, there's plenty to be thankful for. This Christmas, I'm going to remember how thankful I am for the friends I have made at uni that have literally changed my life forever. I can't imagine not having them in my life anymore...

These people have made my Uni experience amazing!

From a very festive Nicole, I wish you all a good, happy week and hope that you get further into the Christmas spirit and think about everything you're thankful for. Love to you all xxx

No Blogging Today Please...

What's the cure for homesickness?

Having a Saturday dedicated to doing absolutely nothing other than indulging in your want to be lazy and laying in bed to combat getting too cold and doing work. Other than revision, I technically have no work to do from now until I go home.. Obviously I have lectures and seminars to stay for but when I'm not at uni, I can indulge in laziness as much as I want.

After our long, cold and heavy trek to and from Tesco, (we left at 7, and got back at 9) to get all the food needed for our Christmas dinner tomorrow, I think we deserve in a day of bed.

Thankfully, opposed to my normal wake-up time, I could sleep til 12PM today, which I did. Although, as bad as that sounds; I didn't get to sleep til 2AM this morning so I guess it kinda evens itself out.

Anyway, I really didn't want to blog today due to my slightly sad mood but my blogging challenge meant that I had to so I apologise for how rubbish this blog is and hope that I can make it up to you with a hopefully more exciting blog tomorrow...

Love you all, keep your chins up if you are like me and missing home knowing that being able to go home is so close, yet so far away at the same time.
xxx

3:30PM Update: Considering I wrote this with the full intention of staying in bed for the entire day, I have kinda not stuck to my intentions. Almost as soon as I wrote this, I got my breakfast and then after I had finished; I got my hoover out and started cleaning my room for some strange reason...

Yet, it doesn't fail to get any stranger...

After my cleaning spree (including washing my table and rearranging my papers) I then proceeded to take a shower and get dressed to look semi-presentable (even if I've decided that I look like a boy with no make-up on, and my hair scrapped back...) and then get on with some work.

For some reason, the world is telling me that I should just relax because the online version of the book I need to read is unavailable. God is practically willing me to get back in bed and stay true to my word..

I guess I should listen to the world and just laze out the rest of the day...

Over and out for a second time today!

I'm free!

I am officially, 100% assignment free for the rest of 2012...

I just handed in my last two assignments with my fingers crossed that they aren't complete and utter drivel, enough to make me finish this degree with a 2:1 outcome. The relief of handing in the assignments is immense, littered with a little apprehension and fear of receiving the marks back.

Unfortunately, one of my lecturers hadn't marked all of our other assignments and therefore instead of handing two in and receiving one back, I have to wait until Tuesday to get my mark back. This both annoys and gives me joy. One because I had mentally prepared myself for getting my mark back and had an epic weekend planned in order to forget about the potentially bad mark and have fun. And it filled me with joy because it means I am in the dark and can ignorantly ignore the fact that the mark might not be my best one for a little while longer. Pros and cons of the situation but that's what's happening regardless of what I feel about it.

Now for the rest of semester dedicated to fun, relaxing and getting into the festive cheer. Sunday, we are having our house Christmas dinner and it's going to one of the best meals I've had in ages. No only for the pure taste, but also for the sheer size and the nutritious value (i.e. having meat, vegetables and potatoes; a balanced meal) I am definitely welcoming the few extra pounds that will be given to me from consuming such a dinner.

Expectation...

Then on Wednesday, Charlotte and I are going to try our hand at ice skating at Cardiff Winter Wonderland and I'm beyond excited. Although, I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up on my bum and my worst fear will become a reality (my fingers being cut off after I have had my momentous fall.) We might just end up surprising each other and end up being the next Torvill and Dean. Bolero, here we come!!

After, there is this little gingerbread hut in town that sells fresh doughnuts and I am going to indulge, both in a calorific and monetary sense, in one of them and going to love it.

Reality!!

Given my challenge of blogging everyday for December, I'm sure you'll find a blog extensive to each activity that I have planned whether you like it or not. Love it or lump it is what I say because if one thing is for sure; I'm going to be shelling out plenty more of these uninteresting, ill-written blogs.

And who's to tell me to stop? Exactly... Enough fake, London attitude from me!

I love you all, have a wonderful weekend; and check back with me for my plans!
xxx

Cutest Puppy in the World...

Yesterday, when I was doing my assignment; getting down and moany because of the stress; I got the biggest surprise in the world.

We added a new member to the Ryan family and it was so exciting. I literally thought I was going to hyperventilate when my brother sent me pictures and I saw the tiny new member of our family.

My sister had gotten a tiny 9 week old puppy and she is the most adorable thing in the entire world. Obviously due to me living in a different country, I could only peer upon pictures and wish to be home so I could give her a cuddle but she's adorable. Despite the fact it made me stop doing my work, to gush over; it also made me more homesick and wanting to be at home already. It's Thursday 6th December, I gotta wait til Saturday 15th til I get to go home and potentially see her. And I wanna go home now!

I am going to share pictures with you guys to illustrate how cute she is. She's a Jackapoo (cross between a Jack Russell and a Poodle) and the last name that I heard being thrown around to name her was Molly. And the best part is that when I get home, because she's so little; I get to have her at my house to look after whilst my sister goes to work. I get to puppysit!!

Super duper CUTE!

Introducing Molly (not sure if that's her actual name, but we'll go with it for now...)

Babbling About Nothing...

10 days til I go home for Christmas...
20 days til Christmas Day...
26 days til New Year's Eve...
189 days til I turn 21...

That last one scares me way too much and I contemplated not putting in this blog at all but it seemed to fit with the countdowns. Plus, I quite like how many days there actually are until this momentous event considering some of my friends have already turned 21 and that makes me feel a tad bit better ;)

How exciting. I know my last blogs have been about countdowns and Christmas and advent calendars a little too much. But what is a girl to do when she sets herself a goal to blog everyday when her life is far from interesting in the slightest? I did think about making up fictional stories and trying to make them sound as if they actually happened to me, but let's be honest; you guys would see straight through that and I'll look like a giant muppet!!

I'm a right old failure.

I only have one assignment to edit and tighten up and yet I am looking online for Christmas presents and generally spending money I don't have rather than spending my time on something that will actually benefit me.

I have officially reverted back to first year where anything was more exciting than doing work; including writing countdowns :/ and cleaning my room...

Oh well, we can't all be perfect plus being a fresher was fun. I already can't wait for Cardiff's annual Drink the Bar Dry Christmas to get absolutely wasted and then catch a coach home hours later, because that's worked out for me so well in the past... *cue not remembering the night and vomiting a minute before I have to leave*

Bring it on!!

I'm such a classy bird, I know!

It's the Final Countdown!

It's only the 4th day that I have had my advent calendar but I am absolutely loving it.

Therefore, I propose that everyday should be a countdown to something in our lives complete with a chocolate advent calendar. I don't know about you, but whenever I realise I get to eat a piece of chocolate to start my day, a little flash of happiness passes across me no matter how bad my mood is. I think we could possibly start this as a therapeutic way to conquer our moods on those days when we feel like crap.

Or, we can take from this that I like chocolate a little too much...

On the subject of a countdown and looking forward to things as I'm sure most of us are looking forward to Christmas now. I started thinking about how many times we do this sort of "countdown" type exercise due to something that we are excited for. In our everyday lives, we don't realise how many things we actually have to look forward to during the year, whether they are societies holidays that have been commercially invented for profit (if we're going to look at it from a cynical angle) or birthdays or even fun things we have planned, i.e. a summer holiday, a day out with your closest friends etc.

It's interesting to think about how many things we genuinely get excited for that are many days/weeks/months away. For example: I am looking forward to the possibility of snow, but this comes with a condition that I must be at home (London) before it snows. Or I am looking forward to starting a fresh new year, and seeing where it'd take me given the fact that it feels like the world is providing us with a fresh start; to forget about everything bad or undesired we did in the year before. And sometimes I'm even excited for the weekend and find myself working out a countdown until the magical 2 days; and it just shows how small something might be to instantly put us in a better mood realising how close we are to something.

This draws me back to something I said previously in one of my blogs about the little things meaning everything when they're done with people you love and adore. It makes our lives that little bit more worthwhile when we get excited for life, excited to be alive and excited for what our future may hold.

Be excited for everything that you're looking forward to, it'll give you a better, and happier outlook on life.

However sappy this blog is, I believe it holds some deep routed meaning to life and I hope you can see past the hippy "love everything and everyone" and take the important parts away from this.

Love to you all,
Nicole xxx

4/4 - well on my way to being the most amazing, awesome person in the whole wide world ;)

That Monday Morning Feeling...

I woke up this morning, and had the biggest urge to do nothing today. My hair needs a wash, I need to get ready and do some work but instead I am sitting at my desk, eating toast with a cup of tea genuinely getting too excited over the fact I get to open another door of my advent calendar along with the prospect of tasting yummy chocolate'ness...

I don't know what happened to make me fall so hard and so fast off the mature, adult, hard-working wagon. I was doing so well bucking the trend of being a lazy-ass student that wasted their time away watching Youtube videos but I have a tab open for Youtube... I need the 12 step programme to get me back to my sober/mature self.

Despite the fact I feel like this every Monday morning, and without the helpfulness of the fact I have no uni today, it leaves me with ample opportunity to just fester away doing absolutely nothing productive at all. And the fact the weather is now icy-cold, it gives me more reason to stay in bed to avoid becoming a Nicole shaped ice cube.

But that kind of mindset stops now. I feel like whenever I get into these moods, I do nothing practical to get myself out of them. They say the most amazing part of us is our brain's ability and I think it's true that instead of actively changing things, we take a passive role in our lives and wait out our bad moods, or our unproductive moods. We forget that we can change the way we think and in turn that'd change the way we feel. If I said to myself, I was going to climb a mountain today (I'm speaking figuratively of course, I can't even climb an averagely steep hill, let alone a mountain) then I could probably achieve it with the willpower I have inside of me.

In order to stop that feeling of uselessness at the end of today, I am going to shower, then get down to completing my assignments so that I am more than ready and happy to give them in on Friday. And I might even venture into town to get some Christmas presents.

I can not afford a repeat experience of last assignment where I would rather have had someone cut me open than to have to hand in the piece of work I did. And so, I am going do something about it.
We live primarily for ourselves, make yourself proud of what you have become... And if you aren't, you can change it to achieve that pride.

On the Second Day of Christmas...

My true love sent to me, two turtle doves and a partridge in a pear tree...

Technically, this song is to be sung after Christmas has happened and to represent the 12 days following the festivities. Now this is awkward...

Anyway, it was in my head and I thought "hey, it's the 2nd December" and I wanted to share such a song with you. I knew from the get-go that this song was going to be inappropriately placed before any of you think "Nicole you're so stupid, you got it wrong." It was for a satirical effect- funny, comical and any other adjectives that you can think of applicable to this instance. Too much talking about nothing.

This blog is going to be a whole lot of nothing said because I have been a right old bum these past couple of days- I haven't done any work besides contemplating changing my module for Spring semester and looking at info to aid my decision-making. BUT before you all rant at me for leaving things last minute and getting stressed out and then ultimately moaning to you guys; I have *almost* (bar the tweaking and editing) completed two of my assignments due in on Friday. And they say you should have a couple of days away from your work and then go back to it with a fresh mind, so I am well ahead of the game; I can't even see it being played any more ;)

I feel like these jokes and analogies are getting far too lame, far too quickly... I need to stop in my attempts to be funny.

The point of this blog was really to give me something practical to do and to not feel as pathetic and useless as I have been feeling. AND, for the month of December  I have set myself a challenge/goal. And to make sure that I achieve part of the goal, I have set 3 goals: an ultimate goal, an achievable goal, and a cop-out goal. And at the end of the month; probably 1st January 2013, I shall look back and see which goal I achieve and then probably write a blog about it- because that's what I do. Ultimate = I'm the most amazing, awesome person in the whole wide world. Achievable = I'm your typical average Joe. Cop-out = I'm a big, fat failure...

So here goes!

Ultimate December Goal: To make a blog every day of the month

Achievable December Goal: Make at least 21 blogs of the 31 days of December

Cop-Out December Goal: Make less than 21 blogs of the 31 days of December

Come along with me on this goal setting journey and encourage me to achieve the ultimate December goal.

Lots of love and festival cheer,

Nicole :D xxx

2/2 blogs completed! Right on track...