When this was put to us a week ago, the only piece of information we got was that it would be an interview practice with a headteacher. It was compulsory and we had to pick a time slot. Up until this morning, I was scared to death. I couldn't think about anything other than the fact I would be doing an interview with a real life headteacher judging me on whether I'd made a good teacher or not.
I dressed up in my favourite green dress, the one that I convinced myself was lucky because I had nailed the PGCE interview in it. And I went in an hour earlier just in case for some reason the trains or buses stopped running. I had a massive case of butterflies and this made me feel sick to the stomach. It actually felt like I was going to puke.
And to make matters worse, there was going to be 5 other people on the course in the room with me. Talk about scary and intimidating. And then the headteacher came in, and the second she said hello, I knew that it would be too bad. I was still, however, very nervous about answering questions given the fact I have limited experience for both interviewing and being in a school.
We all took a question and answered it as if we were in an interview setting and although I got a little embarrassed by saying my answer to a whole group of people feeling very vulnerable, it wasn't too bad. And in fact, she said that it was a very good, detailed answer, which put my nerves at rest a little more.
The thought of now taking a real interview still scares the living daylights out of me because I know it'll be real and they'll either offer me a job or say I'm unsuccessful! It's scary stuff. But I know that my nerves and fear is not something to be negative about. Essentially, they are negative emotions but the reason I'm feeling them is because I care about how well I do. I want to be a teacher so much and get a job because someone thinks I make a good teacher. I'm passionate about it and I know that anytime I'm in that situation, I know I need to remind myself of that!
It's going to be a couple of months before I have to interview, but for now, I know I need to start looking for jobs soon because by the time Easter comes, it's going to be all guns blazing for starting the job interviewing process. I'm not sure I'm ready to be a fully fledged adult with my own class. I can't wait but in some ways I could wait forever to jump over this first huge hurdle!
Scary times!
xxx
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